Part three Chapter six

I was now a regular at the Chestnut tree. I would go alone to drink gin. I still struggled with false memories of my childhood. But then I would look up at the telesceern and here about the battles we were winning in Africa and I knew that was truth. I ran into Julia, I told her I betrayed her and she said the same thing, so I walked away. I thought back to the Ministry of Truth, and the bullet I wished for. Now I looked up at the poster of Big Brother on the wall. The struggle with myself was finally over. I LOVE BIG BROTHER.

Part three Chapter five

O'Brien took me to Room 101. He informed me that Room 101 was the person's worst fear. He told me that mine was rats. How could he do this?! I would do anything to not see those creepy creatures. There were two and O'Brien already pushed down the first lever to release the rats that were no more than two meters away. The mask was coming closer, closer I was terrified. I knew that only one could stop the rats. So I started yelling that this should happen to Julia. She should be punished, stripped to the bones, not me!

Part three Chapter four

I grew stronger after my surrender and I began to stop questioning the Party. How could they be wrong? Sanity is statistical, I just had to learn the way they thought. Freedom is Slavery. Two and Two Make Five, God is Power. I realized it is better to think along the same lines as the Party, or else it is like swimming against the current. Then they came into my room and said I needed to go to Room 101 for the final step in my treatment... loving Big Brother.

Part three Chapter three

O'Brien was breaking me down and all I could do was agree with him. My body has worn out and I am disgusted when I look in the mirror. He told me no one could do anything to stop the party, and all he had to do to prove his point is pull a handful of hair out of my head. He informed me that I was beaten by the party, everything was futile. He told me that I was the last man, my kind is extinct, and now the party controls all.. I am starting to believe him.

Part three Chapter two

I woke up to O'Brien standing over me. I remembered that I have gotten beaten a number of times and each time it was getting worse. Then beatings became less frequent and I was just getting questioned more often. I admitted to things that I knew were not true, and they knew they were not true. Then O'Brien came again and started tortuing me with an electric device, the pain was severe even when it was only at level forty. He then proceeded to "make me sane" as he called it. He told me what was right and what was wrong. The pain I suffered was immense so I stopped disagreeing. He finally told me two plus two makes five and I had to believe him.

Part three Chapter one

I woke up...I was almost certain that this was now the Ministry of Truth, but did not know for sure. Before I think I was in a regular prison, because it was so crowded and there were political prisoners and common criminals. It seems as if the common criminals get better treatment from the guards, and us political prisoners get stuck with the dirty jobs. I met a fat disgusting lady named Smith also and she said she could have been my mother. Back in the Ministry I was under great amounts of pain, when O'Brien came in. He told me that he got caught along time ago and that I already knew that. Then a guard struck my elbow, and I have never been in so much pain before, it was inconceivable. While I writhed on the floor I though that there were no heroes under so much pain.

Part two Chapter ten

When Julia and I awoke, I looked out at a prole woman, at least fifty, that was singing while doing laundry. It was there I realized her beauty, even though she was red and coarse and ballooned from childbearing she was beautiful in her own way. I thought that must be the meaning in Goldstein's book, that proles are the future. I realized the future was the hope, and we are dead. I heard the telescreen repeat, "You are dead." We were surrounded, and then Mr. Charrington and other thought police came in and had Julia and me surrounded.

Part two Chapter nine

Today I was exhausted after working so hard in preparation for Hate Week. I have had Goldstein's book now for six days, but not so much as even peeked at it. I got to our room above Mr. Charrington's shop and put some water on the stove. When Julia arrived I started reading the book. I began to read chapter one, Ignorance is Strength, took a moment after reading, and then flipped to chapter three, War is Peace. When I was done reading, and realized that Julia was asleep I began to think that the book agreed with what I already knew, so it let me know that I was not mad. That night I fell asleep murmuring Sanity is not Statistical.

Part two Chapter eight

We finally made it to O'Brien's flat. When we approached him he was able to turn off his telescreen, something that was so astonishing to Julia and I. I told him that we are thought criminals and wanted to work against the party. He made us take oaths, and both Julia and I told him that we could not stand being apart. We finished our oaths, then he gave me Goldstein's book and told us we will meet in a place of no darkness.

Part two Chapter seven

I had a terrible dream last night. I dreamt that I killed my mother. I remember that my father had disappeared and that it was just my mom, my baby sister, and me. We lived hungry all the time, but I was still so selfish. Then my mom got chocolate, half for my sister, and half for me. After I ate my half, I grabbed hers and fled outside. After eating it, I returned home, but my mom and my sister had disappeared. I told Julia and told her that it was probably best for us to stop seeing each other, but neither of us were willing to let go of that privilege. That is when we started talking about the Ministry of Truth. We came to the conclusion that they cannot make us change how we feel, and if we do that, we can beat them.

Part two Chapter six

While I was walking through the corridor I heard someone approaching and to my surprise it was O'Brien. He told me that my Newspeak in the articles I have written was very well. Then I knew this was about something else when he made a reference to Syme. O'Brien then told me a few words I have used were outdated. Then he told me that I could go to his house to get the newest edition of the dictionary. I knew what he was trying to say. He really meant go to his house so that we can discuss our hatred of the party.

Part two Chapter five

Syme had disappeared. He ceased to exist. Everyone began preparing for Hate Week, and there were huge posters of Eurasian soldiers everywhere, even out numbering the portraits of Big Brother. When I later spoke to Julia I told her about the photograph of Jones, Aaronson, and Rutherford. But, she did not really care. I told her that I was trying to make a difference for future generations. But she was only interested in us, not the future. She became bored when I spoke of politics. She did not care in those matters, all she cared about was doing what she wanted without getting caught. That is where we differed.

Part two Chapter four

We were staying in a room above Mr. Charrington's shop. It was nineteen-twenty, and Julia was coming at nineteen-thirty. While waiting for her I was watching a prole sing and do her laundry. Before long, Julia burst into the room and was carrying real sugar, proper white bread, a pot of jam, some tea packets, a tin of milk, but most important real coffee. I then turned around, an order from Julia, and when she told me to look, I became startled. She used cosmetics... and scent too! She became quite more feminine. After our love making I had a terrible dream about rats. When I awoke I told Julia, and she covered the hole in the wall, to make sure no rats would come.

Part two Chapter three

When we awoke she told me where we will be able to meet. We met several more times that month. She said that she works as a mechanic at the Pornosec, and that everyone that works there are girls. She also says that her first love affair was at sixteen with a sixty year old man who ended up committing suicide. I began to tell her about my wife and how I had the chance to kill her. I explained to Julia that we are dead and we will always be defeated, so there would have been no point to killing Katharine. Julia disagrees with me and thinks totally different from me.

Part two Chapter two

I came to the meeting area, a bit early. There was some danger of being caught, if there were concealed microphones or a patrol officer at the train station asking questions. I met up with the girl and we came to approach a natural clearing where we began to strike up a conversation. We sat down and began kissing. She said her name was Julia, but she already knew me to be Winston Smith. I explained to her how I thought she was a thought police, but she assured me she was just in the groups, so that no one would be suspicious. She then tore her clothes off and told me she had done this scores of times. Nothing could of made me happier, because I loathe purity. When we made love it was a political act.

Part two Chapter one

I was in the middle of my work, when I had to use the lavatory. While I went down the corridor, the dark haired girl approached with her arm in a sling, and then she fell. I instinctively helped her up and she said thanks, and then she was on her way. I noticed she slipped a paper in my hand and worried what it might say. When I got back to my cubicle I decided to open it and it said I love you. I did not know what to think, I was stunned. I could not stop thinking about her, and when the day came when I finally approached her she gave me directions on how we could meet in private.

Part one Chapter eight

I walked through the prole town. And before getting very far I was warned by a prole that a rocket was coming so I flung myself down. Then I ventured inside of a pub, as they call it. There was an argument about the lottery, but as I and most party members know, the large sums of money are paid to non-existing persons. I asked an old man, if life was better before, but he honestly did not understand the question and could not give me an answer. I went into a small store where I previously purchased the diary and this time I bought a piece of coral in a glass. I bought it because it seemed from a different age then now. While walking home I passed the dark haired girl and there is no question she is a spy.

Part one Chapter seven

If there is hope, it lies in the proles. They could be capable to overthrow the Party, since they are 85% of Ocania's population. I began to read a children's textbook about how things were before the revolution. I just kept wondering how much of it was lies. I began to think about the revolution and about Jones, Aaronson, and Rutherford, convicted traitors to Big Brother. I remembered how they confessed to crimes but several years later I saw a photograph that proved their innocence. I think I have been writing an open letter to O'Brien with this journal. Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two make four. If that is granted, all else follows.

Part one Chapter six

I can never carry on my thoughts about that night. The Party's plan was to take away all pleasure from the sexual act. My wife Katharine would only do it for reproductive purposes only. So that night, uhh, I hired a prostitute. She said it was two dollars. When we were about to do the deed I saw she was at least fifty years old. We did it just the same. UHHHH. I want to curse at the top of my voice.

Part one Chapter five

I was in the canteen and my comrade Syme , a Newspeak specialist approached. He asked if I had any razors. I lied and told him no, even though I had two unused. He then started talking to me about his work in the 11th edition of the Newspeak Dictionary. He told me what I already knew about how the range of vocabulary is shrinking and how there will only be a handful of words by the year 2050. I think he will soon be vaporized because the party does not like people who are too intelligent. Parsons came and told me about his kids and how they are turning into keen little spies. Great.

Part one Chapter four

Today was another day in the Ministry of Truth. I got to my job and saw the assignments for the day. I had to change the past to make Big Brother seem all knowing. Towards the end of the day, I decided to write an unconnected story, about a made up Comrade Ogilvy. He lost his life and he was to be a war hero. Interesting how we can make someone who never existed in the present, exist in the past.

Part one Chapter three

Last night I dreamt of my mother. I was dreaming that her and my sister died for me. They knew they had to die for me to survive. My mother sacrificed so much for me, but I was too young and selfish to love her in return. Then I was standing in a field and the dark haired girl approached and tore her clothes off. I barely looked at her, but I admired what she did and how it rebelled against our culture. I woke up at 7:15 and immediately had a coughing fit. I never truly recovered before we had our morning exercise. Towards the end she called to me and commanded me to do better, she then threw in how we cannot touch our toes, but the soldiers are fighting for us. Encouraging.

Part one Chapter two

To my relief it was not the Thought Police, only Mrs. Parsons, although we are supposed to address everyone by comrade. She asked if I could have a look at her kitchen sink because her husband Tom was not home. The children she has believe everything the Party tells them and are quite frightening. When the young boy and even younger girl jumped out holding toy pistols and wood I became scared because even if they were young they looked so menacing. They were bloodthirsty and were mad because they could not see a hanging. Children are horrible and are just waiting for the moment to turn their parents in. When I went back home I realized I was a dead man for writing this journal. I must be very careful or else there will be fatal consequences.

Part one Chapter one

BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING YOU. That is all I see. And the telescreen is watching me now, so i keep my back to it. I look down at the disgusting sight of London, and I question if this is the London I have always known. I hate this place, but I always keep a optimistic grin just in case they are monitoring me. The only thing I can look forward to now is the numbing of this Victory Gin. I think back to this morning, seeing the dark haired hair girl, it fills me with terror, she might as well be part of the thought police. During the Two Minutes of Hate this morning, I caught O'Brien's glance and I felt connected with him. It felt like we both loathed the party, but in a split second- he focused back on the video and continued his hate for Goldstein. DOWN WITH BIG BROTHER. I am panicked but I don't care what they'll do with me as long as Big Brother falls. KNOCK, KNOCK. uh, oh someone is at the door.